Hidden Agendas

I flipped burgers for a bit while in graduate school.  It paid for rent and food, and I kinda liked the mind-lessness of it.

While there, I became friends with a co-worker, call her Casey, a bisexual single mom who was known for sleeping around.  She didn't try anything with me, knowing I was in a relationship. But she and I hit it off well, being cigarette buddies and all that.  She would tell me stuff about her life in general - her kid, her current girlfriend and the occasional guy in her life. I would tell her about grad school and the Indian prof with a pretend American accent who pretended to have trouble pronouncing Indian names. We never hung out, outside of work, for some reason, and I don't quite know why.

Once at the grill, she suddenly cursed and hid behind a wall.  I asked her what's wrong.  She said she was hiding from that Indian guy.  I looked and the only Indian guy around was Umh, a post doc.

"Who are you hiding from again? Umh?"

"Yeah thats him" she said, peering around the corner. "He's such a pervert."

Who?Umh?

Umh was one of the few stand-up guys I knew.  You know the kind - the quiet, the all-ways smiling, really good at cricket, the guy who doesn't utter a bad word, eager to help out and really smart.  The school topper cum cricket team captain cum quiz champion.  Plus he was married. His wife was in India with a one year old.

So again.

Who? Umh?

"Yup.  He keeps asking me out in this creepy way.  Once I said yes just to get rid of him, and he said meet me at the parking lot.  Who fucking meets anyone at the parking lot?"

Who? Umh?

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Yes him.  He even said his name just the way you say it."

That kind of brought me back.  Er..hmm..so did you meet up with him?

"No! I stood him up. Which is why am standing behind this wall.  Shit, he's coming this way. I gotta go."

Sure enough he came and said hi and wanted a grilled cheese sandwich.  I was pretty flabbergasted. The dude was vegetarian and didn't even drink.  Not that those are mutually exclusive to morals but still!

I pressed her again, but she seemed pretty certain.  Not pretty. Absolutely certain.

One of the gujju guys laughed at me when I mentioned this to him. No way, not Umh, he said.  I realized then that I shouldn't have told him.

Some part of me believed her.  She had no reason to lie. And she's not the kind to mistake things like this.  You don't mistake a creepy guy asking you out 10 times with someone else, no matter what skin color.

October

"O hushed October morning mild, 
Thy leaves have ripened to the fall;
To-morrow's wind, if it be wild,
Should waste them all."

- Robert Frost

You might think life has become mundane, but it's not that bad.  It has become very technical, though.  Time is now divided between re-writing and re-re -writing a review paper to the likes on particular reviewer and laying down the math for the big thesis. 

The said reviewer was rather unkind, but there is some fault of mine.  I didn't know who the big guns are in the field, and one thing that is important in science is this concept called literature searching, or in simple words - 'make sure you mention the big guns and that you're not treading on anyone's toes'.  I have spent my professional life, albeit small, in research, and it seems to me that very rarely is scientific research about discovering the truth.  It is sometimes a very political game that is merged with business. The business part, I get, the politics maybe not.  But one has to learn the ropes.  

And yes, the big idea is being started upon.  There is equal parts excitement and equal parts nervousness (oh god, please let this work, I cannot afford to start all over again).  And since it's the beginning, it all looks beautiful and well-placed and almost meant to be.  The ugly side has not been shown yet.

Fall is looking very pretty this year.